Re: Girls who let themselves go. Well, I'm a guy so I'm just going to give my opinions Girls work out for physical appearance (correct me if I'm wrong) They work out for both health and for looks (in other words they want guys to look at them) Therefore, their satisfaction is met when they find a boyfriend and lose the urge to get guys since they have already obtained their goal
Re: Girls who let themselves go. I don't get this. You do know that every girl is different, right? ^^; I mean, not ALL girls complain about their weight, stop working out, etc. So I can't really answer your questions.. About the dating part, the guy can get just as upset when a girl find a new date, as she can be. I always found new guys before my old boyfriends (considering, not like I go out the next day you know), but we talked about it. Talking about things makes it a lot easier. If you don't talk to your ex, then why does it matter that they found a new one. It sounds like your girlfriend is insecure if she gets upset by just looking at a picture of your exes. You should tell her that she is the most beautiful girl in your eyes, and that there is a reason that you're with her now :]
Re: Girls who let themselves go. To be one hundred percent with you, that's what I was thinking, they met their goal and then they say ahh screw it, i thought that was only my theory ;_; haha
Re: Girls who let themselves go. I guess some of you are right. I work out for health and wellness and most girls do it just for looks.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Oh wow.. You actually mean that? You don't care the same for your wife no matter what her size is? Okay, like 100 kilos overweight, I see that - but women do put on weight when they have babies - and once you have a baby and a job, it isn t THAT easy to go to the gym every day..
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Personally, I don't "work out" at all. I hate doing it, and when there are much more fun ways of being healthy; I don't see the point. It will be a cold day in hell when you see me just going for a run, and I make that clear to everyone important to me. It's obvious to me that if you're with a girl who works out just to look good that she's not going to feel like she has to keep working out once she's in a relationship. Why would she? Not only does it seem like too much effort, but it's a biological imperative to want to get all mommy-shaped so that kids are as healthy as possible. Even if she doesn't want kids, the hormonal thing is going to tell her body that she does. It's like men who dislike sex: it's not in their nature to want to avoid it, because every little cell is programmed to want to further itself. It's rare to find a person who can completely ignore those impulses. Now the second one, I'm going to facepalm at the fact that you think that introducing your girlfriend to all of your exes is the simplest route. You're completely ignoring human nature. Yes, all girls are different, but on a chemical level, you're not going to find much that distinguishes them from one another. Females are automatically programmed to see one another as competition. If you make your exes important enough to introduce, you're essentially saying that it's not over between you and them - you still want them to be in your life. I completely understand where your girlfriend is coming from - it makes perfect sense. If my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take me out to dinner to meet his last girlfriend, and then showed me the pictures of her that he kept in his wallet, I'd get pissed. I wouldn't have any problem with him talking to her and hanging out with her, but I would not want her in my life, no matter what kind of best friends foreverrr they were. Obviously your girlfriend is getting angry about how pretty they are because she feels - possibly on a subconcious level - that that's the easiest way for the both of you to deal with the problem. It's likely that she doesn't even really care that they're pretty - that probably makes her feel /good/ about herself, because it shows that you have high standards, which she clearly meets - but she cares that they're pretty and you insist on keeping them around. I'm not telling you to change your relationship with your exes, I'm just saying that you should expect your girl to react that way. *shrugs* I'm not touching that last one. I don't have any experience with that, and I think that it's a horribly generalized statement. It really depends on how the breakup goes down.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Want an honest answer from us men? Or at least from me? We care a TON about the outside.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Rules of relationships by dreamlorde - 1) Not every woman or man in a relationship will "let themselves go". There are those that will and those that won't. 2) Carefully consider the ones who do keep up their appearance once in a relationship. Sometimes it's because they hold themselves to a certain standard, some very few times it's because they still want to impress their partners, but at least 50% of the time it's because they want to look good out in public, which means they care what other people think about them, which means (for women) they probably get a kick out of guys who aren't you checking them out, and you can figure out the rest. Hopefully. 3) The reverse is also true. Sometimes the ones who do let themselves go are just lazy and sloppy, but an equal amount of the time it means they're not looking anymore and that's a good thing (this was said earlier in the thread).They don't adore the looks from strangers - they're hooked on you. Whether that offsets the change in appearance is up to you, of course - but at least it gives you a solid foundation to build off of - i.e. "So baby, why don't we start trying to work out together?" 4) Assuming we're not in #3 above, EVERY decent looking-to-gorgeous female wants to lose some weight, even if they say it's only five pounds, and even if they're already five pounds underweight. Why, I don't know. Guys are the same way with lifting weights. No matter how big and ripped you get, it's never enough. You may be really happy with how you look and you may have girls approaching you all the time, but you still always want your biceps or your chest or whatever "just a little bit bigger". The only girls who say they aren't self-conscious about their weight are ones who never gave a damn about it in the first place. < - - - - Sorry if that P-O's some women who'd like to claim otherwise, but the truth is what it is. I've dated and known girls who were genetically gifted even, who didn't have to work out to be slender and spectacular-looking, and they all wanted to lose weight too. I've had heavy women come on to me before and actually say "Weight shouldn't matter". LOL.... no one should ever feel bad about excluding anyone romantically for any reason whatsoever. It's your right as an individual to choose whatever you want and don't want in a mate. If a woman wants a guy with lots of money, fine. If she never wants to be with a guy that snores, whatever. If a guy wants a girl with mammoth breasts, so be it. It's your choice. If anything, people with noticeable flaws should be honest with themselves and say "If I'm unwilling to change THIS about myself, then I accept that I am closing several other doors in my life. This is a trade-off and I'd rather (for example) snore my head off than take a spray before bed every night to avoid pissing off 80% of the females I'll ever meet." Ah, and about going to the gym and losing weight.... that takes a dedication/drive/determination that not everyone has. Maybe you can loan her some of your energy (assuming you have some yourself).
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Why is this specifc to women? I look a middle-aged couples and it's not often I think "Ooh, look how much that woman has 'let herself go' and look how wonderfully fit and attractive her husband is!" Men do it too. At least some women have an excuse, i.e. biology and having kids. What's a man's excuse?
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Well. We like beer, we like fastfood, we like chips, we like watching TV. Combine those, and tadaaa. No but seriously, that's part of culture. Women always want to look pretty for men. Like with those anti-wrinkle creams. When women get wrinkles, it's bad. When men get wrinkles, it's sexy. We men are lucky
Re: Girls who let themselves go. So why is it ok for men not to care, but if women decide they're not bothered, it's seen as a bad thing?
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Because of women culture. Women often try to be better than other women. For example, they're going to a ball, and they want a dress which looks better than her friend's dress, for example. I think that's the explanation.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. I think it's really more important that people worry about their own health, happiness, and their attractiveness to their mates than whether or not the opposite sex is doing the same. This is a cheap rationalization - "women are sloppy because men are too" is like "I don't clean up the house because he doesn't either".... in the end, excuse or not, you're still a slob. And that does you no good.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. I wasn't using it as an excuse, as you'll see if you read my first post. I was asking why these comments are being directed specifically at women and not just people in general. I was pointing out that men do exactly the same so maybe we shouldn't be narrowing it down to just women.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Well, the thread started with a guy talking about his girlfriend. Hence the focus on women. Yeah, guys sometimes do the same things ladies do and I tried to respect that point in my long post, but honestly the blame-game is tangent to the original question.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Topic 1 I think girls only stop doing that because the guys stop too because both people are happy and feel that since it is true love, it goes deeper than just appearance. And it should. Topic 2 Girls will always complain about their weight no matter what. ALWAYS. Get used to it. Seriously, there is no cure. Topic 3 Actually, give it at least 3 months. Then after 3 months you can date again. This will allow time to MAKE SURE everything is completely over. Sometimes a girl breaks up with you just to "teach you a lesson" or make you realize what you have been doing wrong, she will wait a month or two and come back. But if you already have someone new it makes the girl feel like you didn't care about her enough to give things a chance to work out. Then she will pretty much hate you.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Also, it might help if you want her to exercise if you exercise with her. Even though its not your problem, you can help her by showing your support. Eating healthier with her and creating a routine you two can do together. And you are right, curvy girls are good in bed. B) At least that's what they say about me.
Re: Girls who let themselves go. Topic 1 I know girls who do continue working out after dating. Aww, they stop working out to spend time with you, of course. Topic 2 This is something I don't get either. I know of girls who are (pretty and) thin and they are complaining all about being fat and obese and overweight and what not. I guess this is just all about their personal image they would like to keep up to.