Hey guys! On that money-making-method thread I mentioned http://www.associatedcontent.com, you can make up front money for their assignments, or submit your own writing for "performance payments". I just published a creative writing piece on the site. It's about 2 pages longs, and I'd like to think it's somewhat funny. Here's an excerpt :maha: : Adult content: Read at own discretion Spoiler I left my girlfriend today; I suspect she has been cheating on me with my mistress. She was fantastic. A face like Audrey Hepburn's, a body like Harold Lloyd's, and a sexual willingness like Nikita Khrushchev's. She had an annoying habit of making me recite the U.S. presidents in order of girth (from thumbtack to horse) while having me wear my shoes on my hands. During this, she would lock herself in my bedroom and have sex with my coworkers. This was her kink, and I had no trouble pleasing her. She always said I got her off better than anybody else, which was good to know. So please have a read, have a laugh, and let me know what you think EDIT: OOPS! Heres the link: http://www.associatedcontent.com/articl ... tml?cat=44
To be honest, I wasn't too into it. I read the first two pages, then skimmed the last two. It seems so disjointed. It's all over the place. Each paragraph seems like something completely random. I think you need more content to bring the paragraphs together. There should be like a chapter's worth after each paragraph before moving on to the next to explain what's going on and make the story more rational.
Yeah as an essay it's definitely not great, but all those disjointed sentences are like that because it was written to read aloud in 9th grade So I just sounded like a crazy mofo.