This question has been going around in my head for weeks now. I don't just mean settle as in relationships I mean jobs, aspirations and everything else people try to plan. I'm 17 but my two older sisters seem to of settled into jobs they hate (and won't get out of), unromantic relationships and the life just seems drawn from them. Even my teachers in school all hated their job with a passion (thus were awful teachers). The way I'm being spoken to is like it's a life lesson "We let you dream through childhood now work hard and get a crappy job and settle down with somebody you don't love so they can pay half your rent". Do you think we all inevitably settle or can we get what we want from life?
It depends how much you believe in yourself I think. There are many people out there who are still chasing their dreams and many who have succeeded. On the other hand quite a few of them don't succeed and end up worse than they began. It's all a matter of who you are. You get taught to settle down with what you can get but in my opinion I think thats b*llsh*t. Take me for example; I want to be in a rock band, with a great wife and kids and rolling in cash. The liklihood of that happening is very slim, yes, but It doesnt mean i'll just give it up. If you have the guts to follow your aspirations I say go for it. The pressure peers can put on you to conform I think is the main driving factor in making people settle down into things they just don't want to do. Be it parents, advisors etc etc. I'm not being all emo and "non conformist" but I say you get a plan of what you want to do, and bloody well stick to it.
I remember writing an essay on a topic much like this. Well, not really, but it was alot alike this. The essay was on whether or not your future is laid out for you, or if the decisions in life you make determine your future. Sort of an odd topic, but it was interesting. As for your question, I believe that if you really set your mind to it, you will settle and be happy with your life. My parents both followed their hearts and opened up their own business's, they didn't think they would do too well, but now they are both quite well off. Don't go into a job that you know you will hate, you need to excel and do what you want to do, do something that will make you happy even if it pays less. And for marriage, don't marry someone who won't make you feel like a million dollars when you wake up or when you see them. It really depends on your choices in the long run, I believe that you can choose what you want to do with your life, just set your mind to it and anything is possible.
I think a lot of people WILL settle. Just because it's far easier to do that than to really push for your dreams. Most people will take the easy way out.
It definitally has alot to do with the person and their own personal dreams. Everyone has the potential to get where they want to be in life. But no everyone has the drive and determination. Without this they will "settle" for a mediocre life and never fulfill their dreams. I do not want to do this. I want to get as close as I can to the life that I want. And just because you grow up doesnt mean you have to stop dreaming. Thats how you end up like that and lose touch with what you want in life. Everyone does have to deal with have a crappy job/pay ect. As long as they are still working for what they want I don't see the harm. I dont want to be working in a deli/bakery all my life. But I have to now to gain money for my future plans and fund my way through college.
That's really the American Dream, isn't it? To be happy adn achieve your goals with success. I think that most people 'settle' in the way that they stop trying to chase after their dreams. They decide to live with what they have and be content with it. Very few people 'settle' by finally achieving their dreams.
Hmm but if it's the American dream if you read "Death Of A Salesman" by Arthur Miller it basically says that the American dream is impossible and most people get left behind. The main character has drive, determination and a dream to follow and in the end he fails. It just seems like I know a lot of people from very young who had dreams and goals and wanted to achieve everything they could from life and now they don't care. She_Devil I can see what your saying about it being the easy way out but I'm sure if a dreamer believed in settling it would kill them. It's like another divide in society and it has nothing to do with wealth or race or religion it has to do with whether you believe you can achieve 100% of what you want in life. I know people NEVER get 100% but who would truly want it? If you have achieved everything whats the point in living?
I have read Death of a Salesman, and like I said very few people actually achieve the American dream. I think achieving 100% of your dream gets you one thing- happiness.
I don't know how much could be attributed to laziness. Failure wears a person down, and at some point people give up.
Well, suppose a person dreams to be an astronaut, but you need to be an extremely smart person to do that, and it's just not possible no matter how that person studies. So that person stops for that, but goes for something related to that that is achievable. Is that settling down?
I don't know if it's "settling" so much as people just never being satisfied with what they get. Do you really think there's a job out there that you'd be 100% satisfied with? You're still working, after all. What about a person? No significant other is going to be perfect.
I think that love bit is debatable, pertaining to whther true love really exists or not. But about that job part, I think people CAN be 100% satisfied with what they do, as long as they love it. Yes, most people are stuck in jobs they hate, but some people do what they love- painting, coding, designing, writing, etc. It all depends on what you love to do and whether you can do it well.
By settling I mean in all aspects of life. I think people are forced to settle now more than ever. People seem to go into a job to get money to live on but then never move out of that job. And relationships seem more like someone who's willing to pay half your rent than for love. I think if someone physically can't achieve something they want to in the way of work but still get a job relating to their dream job it's not settling. I think 100% happiness is unachievable at least for a long time period but if we don't aim for what we want I don't see the purpose of living. And like I said earlier some people maybe lazy but most get pushed into things because otherwise they won't have a roof over their head.
Heres one. What about the people who have no idea what they want in life, and don't really have a substantial dream to chase? Can you blame that on laziness? I got out of High School and had no dreams and no aspirations, I had no idea what I wanted. Granted I knew I didn't want to work in a low end retail store for the rest of my life, even though I was good at it. Instead I joined the Air force. Granted there are people who want to and can't, I joined not just due to my patriotism, but for something to do. MY DREAM I guess, is to attain a real goal in life while doing this job. And this job really is cool. Granted I am putzing around in Iraq right now, but still. Can you call that settling? In a way it is. I picked it for lack of better options. On the other hand it isn't. Is it really settling when you face new experiences daily, and you are slowly yet surely bettering yourself as a person?
I don't consider that settling, because you didn't exactly fail to reach your goals, you just sort of didn't have any goals to start with. I hope you find what you want to do, and good luck over in Iraq.
personally i constantly try to keep going for something better the thought of settling down is something i try to keep away till i am in a good relationship
even then. settling is something i kinda try and avoid. But then again...haven't been in any relationship that long. > It is never good to live a stagnant life, something new and fresh should always be on order. Even just the small things.