So, I've kinda formed my own opinion of Hollywood's (particularly Romantic Comedies) effect on the new generation of men out there. And this topic is especially in the relation to how these men act towards the opposite gender. I personally think that the finer arts of communication (more than just verbal) should be taught as a serious subject in schools and colleges, cause without it; it leaves a generation of very lost men AND women. And we being in a society that looks to fill any gap for some bucks, Hollywood has stepped in to fill this chasm. I'm not too sure either whether we, the audience, have unconsciously put it on a pedestal as a guide to life, or if it was intended that way or it was a pure fluke. Either way, I think it's a bad filler. Why? It just gives too much of a good thing too us.. Too much of that warm fuzzy feeling of a united couple falling deeply in love. It hands that feeling to us on a silver platter; convinces us that its the most natural and easy thing in the world. And with the whole 'monkey see, monkey do' mentality, we try and emulate that.. Well firstly, I guess school's teach a lot of things. Math, English, History blah blah blah. Which is great, its crafting us into productive members of society.. However, it leaves it up to us or our parents to teach us how to ENJOY it. This is where a major flaw is I think, and as a by product of this is a lot of hate from those who obviously AREN'T enjoying it. Anyway, narrowing in on the topic of men and women in particular. The traditional role of men (from actual history/cave man times) was to hit stuff with a club, provide meat, be hairy etc in general. And yes this cave man was a little rough around the edges, probaly a bit rude, confrontational and insensitive. However as a society, we've moved away from that.. We've been preaching through Romantic Comedies, literature, heck even advice to our friends that this is wrong.. The 'nice guy' was the way to go, I heard lines like "be yourself", "you're awesome, they'll like you for who you are". Which in itself, this value wasn't negative at core levels.. Though when you pile of alot of societal bs on that, it gets annoying.. So with the whole emulation thing, you get guys trying to be the protagonist in movies (especially in the mainstream American ones.. omfg) Average looking guy likes hot girl, find its hard to talk with her.. finally does it some time during the movie, finds out she isnt so bad. She likes him back, usually the word 'cute' is thrown in there.. they go out / hook up etc. Most people, heck maybe nearly everyone knows that this isnt how it'll work out. But they unconsciously take some pointers from it. Firstly, men see women as a kind of prize; a kind of 2D object to be won over. Something we (as in men) prove ourselves worthy of, before it can be taken. Secondly, that they are somehow different.. an entire different species (and granted, some days of the month, that’s true). Thirdly, okay im scratching my head trying to think of a third. I wont force this =/ Why is this bad? Well, it leads to many cliché’s happening and it pisses me off and I know it pisses a lot of females out there aswell. For example, The Movie Date: a movie, then dinner, then walk her home and hopefully a kiss. Did I just describe 70% of you’re dates? Blahh! Let’s break this down even more, for example when a guy pays for a girl’s drink/dinner/movie etc… I want to ask, why is it that we need to pay? ANYONE? Hell, cause last time I checked my female friends earned just as much as I do. It’s polite? Yea maybe.. But cant you just pull open her chair, that’s free aswell. Or is it because.. You want them to like you; and the easiest way is to buy that affection? It’s from this point that I believe that Hollywood has us believing that being an awesome/confident person is reflected in the things you buy for them. “He paid for dinner” = “Omg, his so sweet”. Hell, or just even being ‘the nice guy’ means you’re an awesome person. Being NICE does NOT mean you’re AWESOME. See, I want someone out there to preach the message that ALL of us have something inside that is 100x more interesting than a free meal.. Stories, fears, hopes dreams. When men who learn from movies where the women are a plot device, a combination of recycled personality traits and lines; it all seems so inhuman. S’cuse the imagery, but you never see a girl take a dump on screen.. There usually so dainty and perfect. So I guess I can understand the reason for them seeming like another race altogether.. Pretty much summarizing that rant into one, Hollywood dehumanizes women by slapping a certain stereotype on them. Men see this incorrect stereotype, deal with it how it was dealt with on screen. Then fail. Anyway, I know this is a bit long so I thank you if you're still with me. Would appreciate any and all opinions.. The arguments a bit messy (hell it is 2:40am)
To be honest, I don't necessarily think so. There are just as many films that show gut wrenching drama in all of it's glory, where it takes the main leads the entire two hours to get together. Hollywood currently shows a whole gamut of different types and forms of relationships, you can probably find a movie to match whatever people are looking for. I think that people are just inherently drawn to certain stories, I think we look for the easy way out, and so we are averse to the movies that are too plain Jane, but that doesn't mean that Hollywood doesn't/hasn't made them before. Just that we hear less about them.
as someone who has always been that nice guy, I don't agree with this at all. I think that nobody I know has tried to act like they saw in the movies, and in fact strive to do the opposite. In this day it seems like girls are drawn to jerks, and I get to watch girls get with guys that don't respect them and are not at all good enough for them. I wish that there was a little bit more truth to your statement, even if it didn't work I would enjoy life a little bit more feeling like less of an outcast and I'm not the type that would change just because things would be easier
There are douchebags, lots of them. But there are also women who treat men like garbage. I don't let guys treat me like crap, but some girls seem to like dating jerks... but regardless, women have always been treated badly--not so much anymore. They're in abusive relationships, but like I said, some men are too. The world is the best it's been in that respect. I don't think Hollywood has any influence on it. As for the "men see women as a prize to be won" thing, men used to literally battle over women. Trojan War anyone? lol
Wouldn't it go both ways though? Women being lazy with men? The divorce rate (which is what I'd more likely start blaming Hollywood for) is high because BOTH genders expect too much from too little. On the average looking guy thing. They don't cast guys quite so hot anymore because of the 'gay' stigma now attached to the super-hot (bar Zac Effron, who still is completely hetero to the world despite using lots of men's beauty products). I think it started the slippery sloap toward the ugliest parts of this emulation through other media (which I'll get to) but most guys just follow their...you know what...and will settle. I think the bigger problem is that I agree, standards are WAY TOO HIGH, there are girls out there at 20/21/22 who want a perminent life partner, and there are a lot fewer guys out there to cater for that demand. Or the nasty girls upset them, and they turn nasty themselves. I don't see trying to win women over as bad, if its in a romantic way. Courting was something that's gone on for centuries- and courting I don't mean having sex. But given your argument goes on, i'll refrain from saying too much. The assumption my ex passed onto me, which I never obeyed because he was unemployed and NEVER PAID (which I don't think holds now, i'm with a guy who paid for EVERYTHING until his boss sacked him unfairly) was that the woman is then obliged to have sex with you because you paid. Up the corporate ladder women do tend to earn less because they're not as good at negotiating. And despite efforts through legislation there is still discrepencies in pay. But that's for another thread. But I think it make a girl more inclined to remain interested. I think a lot of what goes on Hollywood screens is- cyncism of writers, sick of spurting the same carp out over and over again; Hollywood production companies scared to take risks; laziness of writers I didn't know there were so many men seeing romantic comedies they would make good friends. My boyfriend and ex REFUSED to go. [/quote] I would say the biggest blight on male/female relations is pornography. It takes the whole '2d' thing to a new level. Particular types of sex that were unheard of generations ago are now considered 'manditory' or 'unusual not to do'. The idea that women always put out or will like particular things that women in porn are 'depicted to like' (that would actually be really painful and that the actors themselves are in serious pain from) It can destroy marriages, relationships, families- partners get porn addictions, switch off from their partner, and the marriage crumbles. It is also a WONDERFUL way to hide from the real issue that a sex therapist could otherwise help counsel out - similar to those associated with Herman Rockefeller. A lot of serial rapists use porn in one way or another. Its depictions of sexual violence can be dangerous in the minds of particular members of society. Too much of anything and a lack of connection with reality is a dangerous thing- whatever the medium.
I think if anything Hollywood hasn't made men horrible with woman but instead has given everyone a little hope that a love like that exists... somewhere. We may never find that kind of love exactly but serendipity is a great thing mind you.
I think it all comes down to people being able to tell the difference between "movie magic" and real life. Some people do have a problem distinguishing the difference between those two though. I think you make some excellent points though, and it was very interesting to hear out your views
I think hollywood has mainly made women beleive that there's hope and that love does exist, that there is some nice men out there.