Okay, so my parents are divorced. They have split custody of me and my little brother. I am planning on moving in with my dad, because.. well, my mom has remarried, and my Dad has better morals, by far. So skip all that, I am moving in with my Dad. My Dad informed me today, that if I move in, he is going to go to court with my mom and try to get full custody of my brother too. I just... I am horrified. I didn't even tell my Mom I am moving out yet. I am seriously freaking out. I don't want to get my little brother in the middle of all this. He shouldn't have to be. My Dad wants us to be together at all times, so there's no changing his mind. I really don't want to live at my moms anymore. But I really just don't want to... just can't... let my little brother go through this in court (he is only 11, and he has had a bad medical past, why the hell should I add to that list of pain he has already endured?). I am just so upset and hurt right now, I can't do anything but cry. You guys are good with the advice... what now?
Life sucks I know, if I wasn't so down in the dumps myself i'd offer advice... *hugs* Cheer up kay? My parents divorced but my mom don't give a shit about me; She didn't even try to get me to live with her, she just let me go lol.
So basically...you want to move in with your dad, but if you do your little brother will get stuck in crossfire between your parental units. Dad won't change mind. You haven't really mentioned your mom's views, though...as a mom, of course she's going to want to keep her kids, so to speak, but any way to convince her to let the transition go smoothly, for your little brother's sake?
Well, my mom has an interesting parental view. She cares about us, she just is so selfish, and her husband comes first. I know that my mom likes my brother much more than me, and my Mom will just not let my brother live at my Dad's (my parents hate each other, and my mom will not let my dad win this.) Plus, I haven't told my mom I'm moving out, and she will never talk to me again when I do, she's a very bitter person. If I even mention the situation she will freak.
Alright...so, if you move out (=better for you), your brother will get caught in crossfire (=bad for him), since your parents won't compromise, etc etc. As I see it, the best you can do is try to help your brother through this, and let your parents work out their issues on their own, be it in court or whatever...it seems like your mom won't care enough to get hurt by this personally, your dad also seems relatively ok, and you seem like you're just putting your brother above yourself anyways. Try to help him get through things...stay strong.
As much as I want to say 'it'll be character building for your brother', and whatnot, I won't, because, even though I know someone who was in almost exactly the same situation (medical- and divorce-wise), I know it won't really help you sleep at night Look, your dad just wants the best for you.. how he shows that, in his own way, may say different things and may make you feel (almost) like resenting him, but I guess that's life. If you want my advice, I'd let you dad do whatever he wants - it will be better for you and your brother in the long run. It's far better for your brother to actually have solidity in his life, rather than being tossed back and forth between parents, which would be crap. And if you're worried about your brother being caught up in the middle of it, and backlash and whatever, sit down with your parents and talk about it. Just tell them that you don't give a shit what happens, just don't take it out on him. They'll understand. And if they don't, tell them to fund for a hotel, and hang out there till the heat dies down.