Is "harmless" online flirting, cheating?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Robert, May 19, 2010.

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  1. Robert

    Robert Level II

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    A lot of relationships are ended over one of the people in the relationship is caught flirting with someone on the internet. The specific scenario I am talking about is when that person claims that it is harmless. They use facts such as, the person is on the other side of the country, world, state, etc. Is this sort of "harmless" flirting o.k.? Should people just relax and not stress over their loved ones flirting online in this manner instead of getting bent out of shape? Or is it cheating even if they have no intention of ever being unfaithful in the flesh?
     
  2. Freja

    Freja Level IV

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    No it is definitely NOT okay. I would freak out if I found out my boyfriend is flirting with someone online. I mean, I would better be able to relate to it if she was an actual girl but the fact that he feels the need to chat to someone (who could be a fat 40-year old) instead of flirting with me just gross me out. I would've kicked that sucker out XD (Okay, depends on what kind of flirting it was)
     
  3. coconutmoon

    coconutmoon Level III

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    It really depends on how serious the flirting is. Just because the person is across the country, or world, doesn't mean they aren't emotionally cheating. It is exactly the same online as it is in person; flirting can be harmless or it can be very serious and damaging. That should be the determinant, not whether it is online and the person was never going to physically cheat.
     
  4. WildSnorlax

    WildSnorlax Level IV

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    To be honest, this is mainly based on one's own viewpoint and beliefs. If my boyfriend flirted with other people online i'd be kinda upset. Just because if you flirt with other people, or easily tempted to flirt with people, then a part of the emotions you have for each other is kind of dying. When a person start to second guess their feelings towards their bf/gf there's always a hint that it's not going well. And in a more honest reality, if you satisfy each other {Not sexually} but just everything in the relationship in general, you won't ever feel the need to say flirtatious things to people you won't even see.
     
  5. Denied

    Denied Level III

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    He said he comes from a land down under! (Maaaate!
    It's flirting guys, it's harmless, it boosts your ego knowing other people are still attracted
     
  6. thedup

    thedup Level IV

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    I completely agree with Mooie, on all points. I know I could never do it. I have a penpal that I met almost 10 years ago, and I would flirt with her for fun as a joke all the time, but when I was in a relationship I didn't do it at all. It just didn't feel right
     
  7. jadester

    jadester Level I

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    Minimum flirting i think is a fact of life, many like a little flirting but there is a fine line to taking it too far. If it is innocent flirting then discussing it with your partner is the best and only option. Finding out where they stand and what the comfortability level on the issue is then you will know where you stand and what you can and cant do before there is an issue. Communication is the key to any issue in any relationship.
     
  8. Harlow

    Harlow Level I

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    Minimum flirting is ok imo, but when its constant i'd get pretty pissed off, some people really don't realise theyre doing it though.
     
  9. jadester

    jadester Level I

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    But do people really need others to make them feel good about themselves? Self confidence should take care of that.
     
  10. battledome

    battledome Level I

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    Online or not, flirting is flirting, and there's no way to debate that. Flirting online is no better than flirting real life, the internet is just a medium for the flirting to take place somewhere else. I think those that flirt online and try and justify it as being ok should consider the relationship that they are in and what is it that has led them to need/want to flirt. That said, I do agree that there is a certain aspect of "man-pride" in which a guy flirts to get a reaction from the girl he's flirting with, just so he can assure himself he's "still got it".
     
  11. Junior

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    ..Okay I've not posted here for a while because of a few reasons...(one being I don't want to get involved....oh shit too late) However, this got me thinking. What about people that are just naturally "flirty" in their personality.. Not to the extent where they are trying to pick-up, but just clucky and stuff...

    I'm a "flirty" type in general... I mean no harm by it, nor do I have any intentions. It's just.. the way I've evolved as a communicator. I'm trying to think of a good way to explain this.. But I can't. I hope SOMEONE here is similar and understands... So I don't look like a dick.

    Flirting = bad
    Flirtatious personality = not bad? (hrrrm.. still sounds bad..)

    EDIT: IT also depends on the level of that flirtatious personality...
     
  12. FastBullet

    FastBullet Level IV

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    This ^^

    doesn't matter if you have a gf or not, it's just like you breathe air. YOU JUST DO IT and CAN'T STOP!

    and Juny-boy, I'm the "flirty" type too :D
     
  13. toesocks

    toesocks Level I

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    flirting with someone means you have some form of infatuation to them, which indeed would be cheating in my books
     
  14. Blitzkrieg

    Blitzkrieg Level II

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    It's only ok if you approve dating multiple people at the same time. Online dating can be just as serious as short distance ones, and I'm proof of that really.
     
  15. Junior

    Junior Administrator
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    Sorry Fasty, I'm taken.

    I disagree.. flirting does not mean you are infatuated with someone. It can also be a friendly way of expressing a happy personality.. This of course, would depend on the "type" of flirting... and the degree/frequency of it.
     
  16. FastBullet

    FastBullet Level IV

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    Juny-boy, I'm taken too but the very thought you thought I was flirting with you made my WC flush itself. Here's something that I recommend you to check out : here. (yeah, yeah I'm joking too, y'know)

    And to not seem off topic : I remind you guys what Flirting means !
    Flirting is a common form of social interaction whereby one person obliquely indicates a romantic or sexual interest towards another. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated (encouraged) with intentions of getting to know that person on a higher level.
    Flirting may involve speaking and acting in a way that suggests greater intimacy than is generally considered appropriate to the relationship (or to the amount of time the two people have known each other), without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.
    While some of the subconscious signs are universal across cultures, flirting etiquette varies significantly across cultures which can lead to misunderstandings. There are differences in how closely people should stand (proxemics), how long to hold eye contact, and so forth.[1]
     
  17. Rundownandy

    Rundownandy Level IV

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    I think it is practically like cheating. I know if I was doing it, my girlfriend would dump me...
    Flirting does indicate you have some interest in that person. And in my books, if your dating someone, that's wrong.
     
  18. ForeverFalling

    ForeverFalling Level I

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    I would still classify this as cheating, obviously to a lesser degree than actual cheating, but still cheating because i think it disrespectful to your partner to flirt with others if you have agreed to be with only one other person.
     
  19. 3dee

    3dee Level III

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    That's quite creepy to be honest. I believe a lot of dudes pretend to be girls online, so you could easily be talking to a 50 year old man you claims to be a 25 year old woman. That's one reason to not do it. Yes, I believe it's cheating, one thing can lead to another and boom, you meet up. Same idea as flirting in real life imo.
     
  20. rmiles87

    rmiles87 Level II

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    I think it would depend on the situation. In real life i flirt with the women that come into my work sometimes. I work at a drive up coffee stand, so if i make the customers happy, then they usually tip me better.

    But on the internet i think it is pretty harmless, as long as it isn't like an ongoing thing, or nude web-caming. haha.

    But then again, i would probably be upset if i caught my fiancée doing it.
     
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