Bleh, I was just crazily in love. I really never had my heart broken before, I never really been that "truely" in love, and it's always easy for me to let go. But I had this thing with my huge crush, and I really thought he liked me. I have been told my everybody that he's a jackass and he only cares about himself and stuff, but when I got to know him, I just never thought he could be like that and I was totally blinded. Now I just found out that he has been with at leat two of MY friends while we had something going on, and this saturday I was at my friends birthday where another girl also was. That girl (Nana), we haven't spoken for like 3 years and she KNEW I also had a crush on him back then. So I kinda asked her if her friend had something with this guy, because I saw something on facebook about it. Then she confessed to me that SHE had a thing going on with him, and he had just texted him this evening saying he was crazily in love with her. I was like WTF? And then I told him I was with her just know and he just keeps ignoring me ._. then I told her how he'd been with me and how everybody had been telling me that he was a bitch, but I just found out know. And she was also like Oh my god D: and know we're both really broken, and he deleted me on facebook and stuff. And he doesnt even talk to me anymore. I'm like; it's not my fault you're an idiot And I'm really really sad and mad at the same time. I can't sleep and I my self-esteem just went from 100 to 0 :s I've never tried this stuff before and it really tears me down ! The thing that hurts me the most is that he wont even explain him self to me. I feel so freaking USED, and I have never ever felt like this before, because I used to play around with boys without having feelings for them. GAH, I knew I shouldn't have done this, everybody told me it was so stupid. And now I'm left with this .. I won't text him anymore, but problem is that I KNOW that if he texts me or come talk to me, my heart will just melt and I will go back to him. But if I do this will just start all over.
aww Freja *huggles* first things first... :yup: thats what it feels like to be heartbroken Not nice .. and never a good thing Second- your BEAUTIFUL!!! So, get that self esteem back up to 150!! My advice, leave him alone. If hes hurt you now he'll hurt you again in the future im still waiting for an "im sorry" from someone whos hurt me nothing you can do.. your young.. hell im even young im sure it will happen again love sucks... but at the same time.. it can be so unbelievable Like i said.. your beautiful.. find someone whos worth shedding a tear over I know its easy for me to sit here and say all this cuz im not the one thats hurt hopefully you'll be feelin better soon <3
Aww, that was so sweet <3 ~ I know I should just let him go, but it's so god damn hard.. and it really SUCKS because I never really tried it before (as I said xD) so I just thought when people told me he would be an idiot, that it would be easy for me to let go. But really, I feel like such a stupid little girl who didn't listen to all the advice people gave me. I was more like; fuck it, it's love.. they can't decide for me .. BLAH.
we've all done it im sure but, we live and we learn.. atleast thats what we plan to do :yup: lol I also didnt listen thats just part of being a women i think.. were stubborn.. but dont take my word on that lol feel better hunn, hope it all works out in the end
I know how you feel. I can totally relate. Getting used/bent or whatever you want to call it, hurts. It hurts real bad. BUt thats just one aspect of it. What makes the hurt a million times more, is when your friends or family, are part of the cause of the hurt. Nothing is worse when your very own friends or family hurt you by involving themselfs in your relationships. My cousin did that to me. MY cousin introduced me to a wonderful person, because my cousin did not want to date them. I clicked with that person instantly, and the more I talked and hung, the more intense our connection became. But just when I was wrapped up in a deep connection, my cousin stepped back in, and decided they wanted to be with that person. THat person, who I thought was so wonderful, totally blew me off, for my cousin instead, even though they knew that my cousin had no real feelings for them, and was a POS. Its been 3 months since I said cake it, and finally grew enough emotional strength to turn my back to my cousin and that person. It was not easy, it never is. Triangles are realled caked situations to be in. I also did the whole stupid texting and myspace thing as well. I have since deleted all social networking accounts, and changed my cell number. Even though I try to forget, it is something that is hard to forget. You can tell yourself till your blue in the face, that you need to forger the person and move on, but you will always still have moments where you find yourself thinking about them. THe hurt and pain, is still very real, and still very strong. If you loved him very much, then the kind of hurt you feel, is probably very intense. For me, the hurt was so strong, its hard to explain, but it was physical, deep down within my chest, and spread through my whole body. Never have I felt such pain, nor did I ever think emotional hurt could be physical. Needless to say, they say people dont change. IF he was able to hurt you as he did, then most likely he has the capability to do so again. Often times, guys take advantage of these kinds of situations, where they know the girl will always come back. YOu just have to be the wiser one, and not be that fallback girl. It is not easy. It is easy to say. but absolutely insane to try to do. THe only way I managed to oust my past from my life and memories, was to get rid of anything I could that reminded me of the past. NOt easy, but I moved, I sold my old car, got a new car, and threw away a lot of my old belongings. Started fresh so to speak. I hope that you will find strength within yourself and that you start to feel better. No one ever deserves to feel so bad because of the actions of another person. You are better than he is, so dont let him get you down. I cant STAND those kinds of guys that play girls like fiddles.
Oh wow Jen, that must really have hurt =o They really treated you awfully D: god, I feel so bad for you D: !!! And you're so right, it's extremely hard to let go - especially in your case when it was your cousin oO But this guy also knows my brother so I'll see him every now and then. Plus, we go clubbing the same places, I KNOW I will bump into him at some point. I also know he will try to make things better, because that's what he does. I've been talkign to people, and they also say that it's how he acts. But I mean, the fact that he didn't even TRY to make things better with me when he does it so often, just annoys me extremely. Makes me feel like im just shxt and I'm SO bad that he didn't even wanna explain. I know that's not it, I kinda think it's because he knows he did something wrong, but he just couldn't care less, and instead of explaining he just avoids it. But okay, if that's how he is, then he isn't worth it ! He hurt me before, this is going to be the last time. I wont ever contact him again D: I don't wanna be the foolish girl.