Okay.. This is my guide on how to “profile” a girl when you’re out and about and how to.. Well I’m sure you know what usually happens. If you don’t, then you’re obviously not old enough to know so LOOK AWAY! So, if women drink these in a pub (yes PUB, not at home!!) it means the following: Spoiler BEER Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink. WATER Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship. Approach: Don’t. WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation. BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC. Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in. SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid! Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you’re in! CAPE VELVET Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart. Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub. SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.) Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk. Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait...... . SPIRITS SUCH AS JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they’ll think you’re a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed! Okay so to make it fair.. I've also included a guide to profiling of guys. Now, seeing as girls you seem to be the smarter more advanced species... This should come to no surprise: Spoiler CIDER He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid. CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER He’s poor / student and wants to get laid. CASTLE LAGER BEER He likes good beer and wants to get laid. IMPORTED BEER He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid. GUINNESS The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another. WATER He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid WINE He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid. VODKA OR BRANDY Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid. PORT Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid. WHISKY/JACK DANIELS He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid. JIM BEAM Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid. RUM OR TEQUILA Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid. BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change. Okay so there you have it! CREDITS: Spoiler This guide was written in full by some guy or girl with a good sense of humor. Unfortunately, that guy or girl was not Junior although he wishes he was clever and funny enough to come up with this. Instead Junior just received it in an email and thought it was good and wanted to share it. There are no credits in that email. This was not intended to offend any persons. If it does, please report me and let me be at the mercy of the moderators and admins. I accept full responsibility and accept all your verbal/written abuse via PM's or posts. Please keep them PG though. Other than that...Umm.. apparently it was actually a survey conducted on bartenders and these were the results. Haha.. I don't know. Hopefully some of you enjoy it.
Lmfao, of course it had to be an ACTUAL survey LOL This is DEAD ON lol Love it, thanks for the laugh lol The guy section is even better... cuz u guys ALWAYS wana get laid, it doesnt matter WHAT u boys r drinkin lol