My poetry

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by torturedzero, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. torturedzero

    torturedzero Newbie

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    I ask the blind puppeteer
    could i buy your puppet
    could i dance on its strings
    no says the man
    you are not a puppet
    i do not dance with boys
    just puppets

    Could i be your puppet old man
    i could dance on strings
    you could paint me how ever you wished
    you could make me act
    bring me to life

    no son you aren't a puppet you can move on your own
    you move think talk and act of your own accord
    you will not fit in with the other puppets
    you will not be a good puppet you will break

    All there pieces fit in perfect order
    your pieces fall about you with each step
    they have hearts of gold while yours rusts
    go home boy you are not a puppet

    i wish for strings to wrap around me
    to control my movement
    i wish to dance to a puppet master
    and smile with the other puppets

    I am a boy sir, who wished to be a real puppet
    At that moment i felt the pull of the strings
    and smiling let go of my humanity
    now i dance to strings with a heart made of rusted gold

    eternally on the shelf no different from other puppets waiting for my turn to dance before my rusted heart fades...
     
  2. torturedzero

    torturedzero Newbie

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    Like a nightingale
    i sing my song of fairwell
    touching hearts and souls
    if i never see you again
    remember my song
     
  3. cokaine

    cokaine Level III

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    thats pretty good mate
     
  4. Roarbark

    Roarbark Level I

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    Location:
    Hawaii :)
    I really like it. Free verse is my favorite style of poetry (although all my best works are ABCB etc..format... Go figure)

    Great topic, I love the imagery that comes into it when the puppet master is talking about the puppets.

    How true. Many "sheep" have hearts, of innocence, of gold, but do not truly live, like those of us with rusting, breaking down ones. (pardon my take on it, if its completely off :p)

    Edit: Heres one of mine, With that ABCB DFEF format.

    See my reflection.
    Can you tell its not real?
    All these hidden emotions,
    that he and I feel.

    A blank look that I give,
    a blank look I get back.
    Searching my own eyes
    for something I lack.

    I'm closing my eyes,
    with my hands–shield my face
    Think of things that are gone,
    things that I can't replace.

    He waves at me slowly.
    I slowly wave back.
    We both bend and we bend
    'Til I break with a crack.

    Less hidden meaning, but i like how it flows.
     
  5. Ramchook

    Ramchook Level I

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    its pretty good
     
  6. golan

    golan Level I

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    u didnt right tht! lol if you did its quite nice.
     
  7. FastBullet

    FastBullet Level IV

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    I close this thread
    and close my eyes
    Just to slide a little rice
    around my cold paws.
    I am Shining
    I am Blinding
    Simply just to be Outstanding
    And when the blood turns blue
    I will be in love with you. :p
     
  8. roboz

    roboz Level I

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    lol i thought this was a flame by reading the first 2 lines. :arf:
     
  9. sweetnshort

    sweetnshort Newbie

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    lol, i think it's pretty cool!
     
  10. colmilho

    colmilho Newbie

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    wow... im speechless for once...