My resignation letter to my Manager.

Discussion in 'World of SPAM' started by interhacker, Oct 24, 2009.

  1. interhacker

    interhacker Level IV

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    Dear Mike. (manager)

    Last night in bed, your wife told me you'd found out about our affair and were going to fire me today. You've not been getting much satisfaction recently, so I won't spoil the trend. This is my letter of resignation.

    Don't worry about a reference, I'll tell you now, she's bloody marvelous.​
     
  2. Freja

    Freja Level IV

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    Wow, that is stupid oO
    Explanation?
     
  3. Shawn

    Shawn Level IV

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    YOUR letter of resignation?! gosh
     
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  4. interhacker

    interhacker Level IV

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    My manager is an ass so i figured i would put im in his place :)
     
  5. Shawn

    Shawn Level IV

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    This is really epic. It's a written one I pressume? Take a picture of it :lol:
     
  6. Freja

    Freja Level IV

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    I think that is a very very immature way of leaving your job, nomatter how much of an ass your boss has been..
     
  7. assasin

    assasin Level IV

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    Have you seen the movie "Wanted" freja???
     
  8. Freja

    Freja Level IV

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    Can't say I have ? :p
     
  9. interhacker

    interhacker Level IV

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    Already been sent in :)
     
  10. Tricia

    Tricia Level IV

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    Wow. You're so clever and cool.
     
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  11. interhacker

    interhacker Level IV

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  12. WildSnorlax

    WildSnorlax Level IV

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    LOL kudos. I'd be too chicken too say shit like this.
     
  13. tharoux

    tharoux Level IV

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    I'd like to see his face !!!
     
  14. Arkley

    Arkley Level III

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    You may have seen this before, but here's a truly excellent letter of resignation that was widely circulated a while ago. If I ever have to go out with a boom, I'm going to make sure I leave something like this behind.

    Dear Mr X,

    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.........

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.

    However, I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n*de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.
     
  15. Ak*

    Ak* Level IV

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    i unno.. too old. You should always try to build bridges and not burn them... even if you dont like the person you gotta do what you gotta do ... it may come back to haunt you in some way.
     
  16. interhacker

    interhacker Level IV

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    Dout it mate, i have no link with them now :)

    Just preparing for my next job.
     
  17. Will

    Will Level IV

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    Do I sense Tricia's famous sarcasm? :D
     
  18. Tricia

    Tricia Level IV

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    Sarcasm? Of course not! I'm very confused, in fact. To get -rep from such a respected member as TOTG, considering that I played along perfectly!

    Sorry, just thought that you'd like to take some of what you like to give out, TOTG :D
     
  19. Phee

    Phee Moderator
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    So what happens when your next prospective employer calls for a reference?