lol, I'm soooo confused right now. Is it just me that don't understand guys? =0 First of all, I've been fooling around with one of my brother's best friends for some time, kinda secretly (my brother doesn't like it). And I had a huge crush on him, but now it's more in fun. I can sense that he doesn't put ANYTHING in it, we're just having some fun, but it really annoys me. Maybe because I used to have a crush, but I just don't really think I do anymore? You know when you can feel on a guy that he has feelings etc.? but I really can't with him - he really is an arrogant sob, but I like it =D! so I don't know whether to talk to him about it, because I still wanna have fun with him because he's sweet and we have some great times and I just feel that if I tell him that I know that he doesn't feel anything, he'll just be like: omg, do you have feelings for me? I thought we were both in on this and so on.. and we ARE, but.. it's just kinda weird for me, because I don't wanna feel used D: idk, maybe I should stop this?? And second of all, TWO guys from my class suddenly fell in love with me? 0____o I'm like WTF? We've been in the same class for 3 years now, and none of them ever showed interest in my IN THAT WAY. We're really good friends, but within the last two months they both told me (undependable of each other tho) that they had feelings for me, and one of them was.. a lot in love. I am this extremely flirty girl without putting anything in it, it's just in my nature. And I think guys just take it the wrong way really often, that is my experience anyhow. So I told them both that I was very flattered etc. but that we were so good friends that I wouldn't wanna risk anything. And that's the truth. But I think they feel dumb or something, even though I still like them as friends!! It's all just very awkward right now, and I have no idea what to say/do. I try to act normal around them, but they just feel different. and it kills me, cuz we only have one year left of school, and I dont wanna split like that!! BLAH, personal problems GUYS WHY ARE YOU SO COMPLICATEDDDDDDDDDD
Aw relationship stuff is always the worst kinda stuff; I know what you mean about the trying to act normal after a confession sorta thing. I remember confessing to this guy and he full on did a 180 on me, he stopped talking to me and gave generic replies, but now he's the only who'd often msg me once in awhile and he actually msged me twice about my birthday. I don't want to think anymore or less of it, and I wish I knew how to help you deal with this, but I can't Good luck Freja!
lols.. but in all seriousness you are basically a booty call for that guy and he is your booty call. if you feel like he is using you its because he is. As for the friends issue my ex gf was a long time friend and when she first told me i was in the same position as you were( didnt want anything more than a friendship) But eventually we got to know each other on a more intimate basis then I fell in love with her. The weird period of awkwardness should subside soon if it doesnt then your just gonna have to not hang out with the guys. good luck Freja.
ah, thank you mooie! awkwardness it just.. bleh SoC ..... what to be expected =D Ak*; lol I guess so. it's just kinda weird since I once were in love with him. I know not to make a big deal out of it, but it's still something I think about. and you kinda have SOME feelings for each other when you're intimate like that. I know it doesn't have to be love tho Yeah, I could just never see myself with any of those. Maybe because I'm not a relationship kinda girl xD I just don't wanna give it a shot when I'm not sure about it :s And the awkwardness kinda lingered off yeah =P but it's still there, and I don't know whether to confront them or whatever.. I think I'll just wait and see what happens for a few weeks.
Freja, if you're having fun and you don't really have feelings for him either, then there's no problem! But the fact that you're thinking about it so much might mean that really you do like him still and because you can't sense the same from him, you're maybe convincing yourself that it's fine because you're not bothered. If you think that could be the case, call it a day. If you have feelings for him somewhere, you run the risk of them getting stronger and putting yourself in a position where you could really get hurt. Plus, you are beautiful and smart and I'm sure you could easily find someone you liked who would adore you. The thing is, the things that hurt usually do start out as just a bit of fun. Eugh, as for the thing with your friends... A couple of summers ago, my boyfriend and I had people over for his birthday and everyone got stupidly drunk except me. We were in our nice, new house so I wasn't drinking much because I was paranoid everyone would ruin the place, but anyway. A guy I have been really close friends with since I was 11 decided to tell me he loved me and try to kiss me. I was so disgusted, I thought I was going to throw up. I felt super awkward about it and avoided him, even when he tried to make the effort to meet up. Now, as a consequence of me totally over-reacting, I just don't see him anymore and have lost a really good friend
HMMMMMMM I WONDER WHY :O We're not complicated. We're rather simplistic in fact. You flirt, we respond (if feelings are mutual ofc XD). Its YOU GIRLS that are so goddam complicated. :| >_____<
TRUTH. 1. You admit to being flirty, so no duh you have guys after you. THIS AIN'T COMPLICATED. 2. Two guys told you straight out how they feel. THEY MEAN WHAT THEY SAY, THEY AIN'T COMPLICATED... at all. Now lets look at you, who flirts with your brother's friend. You say you had/have feelings for him, but you're not sure, but maybe you do, BUT MAYBE YOU DON'T NOW. You're the one who is complicated. That guy is using you as much as you use him! It's quite simple. If you're happy with the situation, don't change anything. The only reason he seems to be "complicated" is because you over-analyzed the situation! And now for some actual insight: XD A similar situation happened with one of my really close friends (I was in the spot that your guy-friends are in). She was even worse than you though, because she WAS interested, just MORE interested in someone else . Anyways, we drifted apart for a year, and are now friends again. If you're only in school with these guys for one year more, you probably will not get back to feeling normal with them again
I think im just gonna ignore the whole "who's complicated" situation , because.. most girls are flirty, it's nothing you should take seriously.. I mean.. you would know when a girl is serious anywho, yeah. I guess the first month or so will continue being weird, but Imma do my best for us not to drift apart D: i've been with someone from my class once, AND OMG it was awkward. we figured it out though, so I guess I can do the same with these guys.. I just didnt wanna make them feel stupid because they layed out their feelings like that..
Here's something you should know if you feel guys are too "complicated": If you flirt with a guy at a party or just occasionally, then most guys won't take it seriously. If you flirt with a particular guy for multiple weeks, then most guys WILL take it semi-seriously, and be hurt/think you're a slut if you're just playing around. If you don't want a guy to take something seriously, then DON'T LEAD HIM ON. Yet another reason why guys are less complicated than Freja Trust me, they won't feel stupid. They'll feel like you're kind of a jerk for rejected a friend. At least you could give one of them the benefit of dating them for a week, and then breaking up. Then the guy can tell his friends, "it just didn't work out." Now he has to tell his friends he was rejected. Pity yes > rejection for most guys' egos.
Okay, first of all: They've known me for 3 years, it's not like I SUDDENLY turned flirty =3 that's why they shouldn't take it that seriously, as I've always been playing around with them - as have they with me! We've had this kind of flirty-kidding around relationship and we we're all just FRIENDS =) that's kinda how I act around guys who even are my best friends. and they get me , it's not like the suddenly fall in love with me =) so that's what I meant. I don't think that guys don't take flirting seriously, I'm not naive you know And why would I wanna date them when I know from the beginning it wouldn't work out. I would rather be honest than going on a "pity" date with them, which I also think they appreciate the most. Me being honest > me going out with them because I feel sorry for them. I am absolutely sure it wouldn't work out, as I said I'm not a relationsship kind of girl, I would rather be single .. For now at least. Unless Mr. Big came around of course ;D
That's what you would think, but you probably did just crush their self-ego, and NO ONE feels good after being rejected.
Well, it's not like I said: OKAY GO AWAY I HATE YOU , EWWW I was like; I love you as a friend etc., I was not being inconsederate (okay, spelling is off, so bear with me) and being honest is just something that to me is the most important thing ever. And I would hate myself if I accepted to go on a date with them that Ididn't wanna go on. So yeah.
Tell me if I'm totally off, but is it possible that you're thinking about this not because you have real feelings for him, but because you want HIM to have feelings for YOU? It's probably not even something you're aware of consciously, but more of a subconscious thing. You want him to like you because you had feelings for him before that he never returned, even if you don't have any true feelings for him now.