CLARIFICATIONS: 1) This 'age' is not to be set by the law, but rather, in the individual's mind. 2) By 'relationships', I'm talking about boy-girl relationships The reason why I'm setting up this topic is because I think that this is quite some matter to discuss. We all know that we mature as we get older, and often do our ideals change as we do so. I remember thinking that 'love' was all about passion and romance, when I was very young. I even thought about getting into a relationship when I was like... eleven. Hahaha! Thankfully, I did not. I believe that most people get into relationships with the intention of making them last. I'm not talking about hook-ups here; I'm talking about serious relationships, and not 'trial-and-errors'. I view relationships as one with the ultimate goal of marriage, so our partners have to be 'the one's for life. As a result, do you think that there should be an arbitrary minimum age to get into relationships? I believe that our thoughts really mature when we're about 17-18 (no offence to anyone below this age; personally, I am below this age as well!), so I'm actually quite sceptical about relationships occurring below this age. I'm not saying that they won't work out, but rather, I feel rather insecure about them. What about you?
I think it depends on the person and how they're raised. Yes some people really mature when they're about 18, but there are some that really mature once they're 25, or 40, or some just aren't meant to be in a relationship. So I guess my answer would be no, there shouldn't be a minimum age for a serious relationship. But I gotta say though, when I was 11 I was still like "boys!?!? ew!! cooties!!" :lol:
Yeahhh, my point exactly. I'm seeing people get into relationships at 11, and I'm like o_o;; Well, maybe it's the conservative nature of my culture. I'm Asian, so I guess we're a little touchy when it comes to such things.
Yeah, I know of people who got into them at a much younger age, but my point is (sorry if this rakes up negative feelings in you), it's hard for them to last. I'm looking at relationships which will ultimately lead to marriage; I believe that there is a certain age (which entails a certain maturity) that will allow one to choose partners wisely. Of course, this 'certain age' varies from person to person, but there's bound to be a 'certain age', and it's probably around 17-18...
I guess it depends on the person. Of course, girls mature faster we all know that, but there are some guys out there who do also. Me and my girl are doing very fine, and I'm seventeen. We don't fuss or fight. Perhaps it's not the age that matters but the circumstances on how the relationship gets started. I always wanted a relationship where we could be really good friends and on top of that something else, and that's what happened and it's perfect.
^ Eeeee, I'm jealous of the two of you .-. *runs in circles* Ahahaha, but that's really nice to hear, I'm happy for you. My 'ideal' relationship would be one like yours too, and that's actually what I meant. I sincerely doubt that people who get into relationships too young (e.g. 11, and once again, no offence to anyone...) will find it hard to achieve such relationships with their partners. See, you're 17, and that's my idea of an 'arbitrary' age. But of course, I do know of people who are 17 and hardly 'mature'; they go into relationships to 'have fun'. I guess that's somewhat 'wrong circumstances'...
I think that arbitrary age should be when your able to support yourself completely. You have some kind of maturity if your able to completely support yourself.
I think teenage pregnancy speaks volumes. If they where mature enough they would have the sense to protect themselves. That arbitrary age should be when they can make responsible choices and set aside their own gratification, when they can think ahead beyond the current moment, when they ask and consider the consequences to their actions. Its making the right decisions in that split moment with hormones wild that will determine the path their life will follow. Love/relationships at young ages rarely ever last a lifetime, its not realistic for most. Being a grown up comes to fast, enjoy being a teenager.
...you just expressed what I was thinking all along, but had no idea how to express it. I second, third, and fourth this o_o Self-control + not getting 'blinded by love'... that's it, really. Teenage Pregnancy really does show that the mindsets of many teenagers are still ones which are not yet mature D:
My first relationship was at the age of four. It lasted for two years. We were going to get married and everything. We were pretty serious. We kissed twice. We were kids. I think, as you mature, so do your relationships. When you're a kid, you have a childish relationship. Pecks on the cheek, the idea that you're going to have kids together (without knowing exactly how to make them though), giving her flowers you found by the swings, going to see a PG movie with your her (and your mom). Dating is fine, no matter what age. As for serious relationships, its a whole other thing. I don't think many people start actually seriously dating until high school, but it's more of a mini-serious relationship. The girls likes him, maybe even (puppy-)loves him, but, for the most part, every guy has the subconscious goal of getting some. Personally, I can't stand it when high school couples throw the "L" word around at all. I don't think many people are capable of a loveing relationship until around 18+, which is only a minimum standard.
I'm Asian, too. When I was like, 10, my mom decided to make a "house rule" that I'm not allowed to date until I'm 16. (I'm 15 right now. I've been dating the same guy for the past 2 years. =P) Anyways...I seriously think that this depends on the person. There are people of all different maturity levels at all ages, though yes girls biologically mature sooner. :maha: A lot of people in the teen years and younger are just looking to "have fun", or dating someone just because they're physically attractive, but there are people looking for serious relationship. For example, this guy in my French class (who I poke a lot XD), who I've discussed relationships with and he agrees with me that dating is for marriage. (He refuses to date anyone until he finds someone that he truly thinks he'll marry someday.) So, since maturity differs over ages, so I don't think there should be a particular age to date. Then again, in general I'm going to have to agree with Rhett...I just beg to differ on the note that there are exceptions to every rule. =P And just because I love this smiley face...:O
Yeah just reading some of the posts and many I agree with. I dont know why teenagers are always in such a rush to have relationships anyway. I mean are they missing something at home, are they looking for attention, approval or suffering from some neglect that they feel the need to start so early? I have no clue and Im not an expert by any means, but Im almost 40 and been in 5 relationships my entire life. Im not unattractive by any means, just values instilled at a young age, I had a very happy childhood with my parents who spent a great deal of time with me and my sister. I never started dating till I was 17 years old and never lost the flower till I was 19. Men will always be there, there is no rush.
"Personally, I can't stand it when high school couples throw the "L" word around at all. I don't think many people are capable of a loveing relationship until around 18+, which is only a minimum standard." ^ I so agree with this. I don't think people at that age (which is my age, actually, so I'm not criticising blindly) really understand the meaning of 'love', yet they go around saying things like, "Gah, I'm so in love with him... he's always on my mind..." or "Can't you see how much I love you? I think this is the greatest love of all!" (Haha, the last line reminds me of Kelly Clarkson's 'A Moment Like This'... it's a nice song, though :X) "I'm Asian, too. When I was like, 10, my mom decided to make a "house rule" that I'm not allowed to date until I'm 16." ^ Ahaha, same here! My mum set the rule that my siblings and I are not allowed to date until we are 18 (which is, at the pre-university age). I'm 17 now, so I'm kind of looking forward to next year. (Whoops! ;o) "So, since maturity differs over ages, so I don't think there should be a particular age to date." ^ Yep. Very much subjective. But definitely not at the pre-teen period, imo .-. "Would said arbitrary age apply to the retarded, autistic, and so on? ^ Well, like I mentioned before, this arbitrary age isn't universal. It's more of a... self-control thing. Something like what Anfan mentioned (the 'house rule' thingy, only that it applies to oneself)... Not saying that the retarded, autistic, etc. will have to have 'self-control', because I think these are exceptions. For the 'normal' people (hope I'm not appearing too snobby here, that's not my intention .-.), I think we do need some 'self-control' and not get into relationships because we 'feel like it', especially when we're really too young. We may think that we're mature, when we actually are not. I remember thinking that I was really mature when I was 14, just because I felt that I'd grown since I was 12. But now that I look back... oh boy! Hahaha. "Men will always be there, there is no rush." ^ lol! I love this line. Problem is, a lot of people think that there is only one 'Mr / Miss Right', and are afraid to 'miss' him /her. So they just jump on any... fish o.o (Haha, was thinking of Katy Perry's 'Thinking of You'... "There are tons of fish in the water...")
I think it's like what most here have said already, it really differs person to person and relationship to relationship and at times environment comes into play. I've been with the same awesome girl since I was 15 (I'm now 21 about to turn 22) and also have friends who have similar relationships and I can really say that it's because of the way I was brought up that I was able to sustain a healthy relationship for so long(well that and because my girl has the heart of a saint ) . It all depends on how each person approaches the relationship because there are different types of relationships, some people only want fun or excitement while others want security and stability.
It really depends on the person. Many 18 year olds are more immature then some 16 year olds and vice versa. It also depends on what kind of relationship and what you think a relationship is.