slackers guide to college/university

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Ak*, Apr 12, 2008.

  1. Ak*

    Ak* Level IV

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    Ahh! College the years of exploring the almighty Vage and partying like a jackass is something that everyone should experience in their life. But after the parties you better get ready to pull all nighters studying your ass off for tests and writing papers.

    However there is a way to make college life easier for everyone no matter where in the social hierarchy you are in.

    1) never ever do you have to attend each and every class. You can be surprised how much you can learn from not going to classes. Especially those annoying introductory classes that are off topic from the main course. Doing this will make save you some much time and give you a chance to rest the dreaded hangovers of your nightly ventures. Also it gives you a chance to be the new guy in the class making introductions to the potential hot females. I did this many times and it seems that the woman are more likely to talk to you if they didnt see you at the last class. BECAUSE YOU BECOME MORE MYSTERIOUS in their eyes. ( its a psychological thing)

    2) always make sure you have a friend or make a new one in the class your are going to skip. THIS IS A CRUCIAL step to your success without actually doing any note taking in class. Just get him/her to give you the notes after class and read them for like 10 minutes. I had the fortunate luxury of having friends from my ball team in the class so we would go through it while hitting the bong every now and then. However, if you are a social hermit then just try to make at least one friend or suck up to the prof.

    3) Those first set of exams are a pain because you do not know how the teacher grades each of the questions. The first set of tests are probably worth more percentage then the second set of tests so my solution is to miss it completely and do not show up for any classes until the review class for the second test. I know your probably saying to yourself wtf is he nuts? Well I will tell you how to manipulate your prof a little later.
    anyways study your ass of for at least one day before the second exam and pass it.
    Now this step is the most important, miss all the classes except important ones and look distressed when you are in class. After the third test is written you email your prof some sad sob story and depending on the teacher you may be able to write the first exam. Family Deaths work the best. or the death of someone close to you. DO NOT GO INTO DETAIL OF WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE PROFS ARE SMART AND CAN CATCH YOU IN A LIE.. IT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE!!!!

    NOte: it is crucial that you have a family member like and older sibling or a friend call your prof introducing themselves as you legal guardian. Let them tell your sad sob story and 8 out of 10 times you will be able to write any tests, quizzes, assignments you missed in the last month of the class.


    4) after doing so make sure you look at your study guides that are given out and make sure you know what the general concepts of each topics that may appear on exams. Personally i have done this in every year in college and only had to work hard in the last month of classes. Currently I have 4 classes a semester and i have only been to 25 classes in total. work hours gone into class about 100 hours.


    Finally you are set to get ready to write any exams missed and assignments due in class on your time and on your schedule. I basically have all my Prof's in my control and generate massive amounts of sympathy so basically i can tell them when and what time i will hand my stuff in.. This guide will dramatically cut your workload in half, the hours spent in class and the effort you actually put into it.


    Hope this guide helps anybody out there and enjoy your college adventures.
    All the keggars,Toga parties and the never ending Vage will then be you main focus and life will be great. College is supposed to be a time of fun and pleasure.


    However the steps above do not apply to 4th year students because the prof's really do not care at that stage in College/University.

    NOte: its also a good idea to see the campus grief counselor to seem more legit.

    Happy Partying, Ak47-neo
     
  2. Commy

    Commy Moderator
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    Hrmmm...haha, good on you that you can get away with it, but you wouldn't be able to do that at the university I'm in.

    I would agree with points one and two, in that
    1: Thanks to lecture notes and i-lectures (recorded lectures), it isn't as important to attend lectures. But for certain classes, only partial lecture notes are provided. And in the case of subjects such as mathematics and statistics, a lot of formulas and examples are written on the board, instead of printed out.

    2. Friends make the world go round. If you miss a lecture, you can fill in the notes with somebody who has. If you're stuck on an assignment question, friends can also help you.

    3. I'm not sure what you mean about first sets and second sets of tests. Our subjects are graded in three ways: Assignments, tests and exams. Usually the assignments are worth 10-20%, midsemester tests are 10-20%, and depending on the subject, exams are worth 60-100%. Different subjects have various combinations of them.
    If you do miss out on a midsemester test, you would need some proof such as a doctor's certificate or death certificate to get away with not handing assignments in, or missing out on tests, or exams. The lecturers may believe a family death by word, but you would need to fill in a special consideration form with proof if you would want an extension or redo of an exam.

    4. I would look at the past exams. Often questions are repeated, or reworded. You'll know which sections are more likely to appear in an exam.

    You can do all this, and still party hearty. We've got beer clubs, our societies go on booze cruises, pub crawls and have bbqs where there is free beer. Uni is what you make of it.
     
  3. candyg3

    candyg3 Level I

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    what university per chance?
    yeah. i can't really do this at my school. they care way too much and my profs are mostly parents of my friends. thats where i get my extra marks from :lol:
     
  4. Commy

    Commy Moderator
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    University of Melbourne
     
  5. officegirl

    officegirl Level I

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    Hah. I'm finishing up the final semester of my degree PLUS I work at a university, so I can totally add my voice here:

    1.) Our profs are FANATIC about class attendance. In fact, there's a university academics rule that says that you are only allowed to miss 1/3rd of classes WITH a valid excuse. Miss more than that, and you can't write exam!

    3.) Our marks work like that. You have a participation mark, made up of scheduled tests (usually between 2 and 4), pop quizzes and assignments, and class attendance (yes, they allocate marks for that). Participation must be above 40% to get admission into the exam. Then you have to get a sub-minimum of 40% for the exam, or you fail (in other words, if you got 38% for the exam, and your participation (or semester) mark was 90%, you'll STILL fail). There is an automatic second opportunity for every exam subject, it's scheduled into the exam timetable and you can use it if you feel like it, no questions asked, BUT if you do write both opportunities, ONLY the second one will count, regardless of which one you did better in. So usually lecturers make the second paper a NIGHTMARE.

    Oh yes, and all tests and evaluations during the semester occur... well, during the semester. There are people writing scheduled tests till 10:30 at NIGHT, so yeah.

    A block time is set aside for the exams, though, usually about 5 weeks for the 1sty opportunities followed by 3 weeks for the second opps (which can go into the vacation).

    4.) Past exams: Definately. At the very least, it gives you an idea of what kind of questions the lecturer asks and what kind of answers they expect.
     
  6. Ak*

    Ak* Level IV

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    yeah if you have a real hardass prof then you muct got to classes because they do not give a crap about any thing going on in your personal life.
     
  7. officegirl

    officegirl Level I

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    Or in your other subjects, since, in their minds, theirs is the only one that matters... grrrr... I've had a situation recently where I had 2 scheduled tests and 2 assignments to hand in on one day, and no one would hear of moving anything! PLUS, I work full time! (I'm finishing up the last 3 sujects I need for my degree).
     
  8. MCheezie

    MCheezie Level IV

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    Erm this is bull. If you skip class, you get 0's for that day and if you skip enough class you fail. Are you even in college?
     
  9. officegirl

    officegirl Level I

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    It depends on where you are in the world. Some countries are enlightened enough to understand that college or university, as we call it here, is a place for adults who'll make their own decisions and so on, so class attendance isn't mandatory, but obviously writing tests etc. is. It doesn't work like that here in SA, and I guess it doesn't in TN either... does that stand for Tenessee?
     
  10. MCheezie

    MCheezie Level IV

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    Yes. Every college I have heard of is strict on attendance. Most colleges that are considered to be a good school are strict on attendance.
    How would you learn if you never go to class?
     
  11. officegirl

    officegirl Level I

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    Well, the thought amongst the more enlightened profs on our campus (read: those who usually debate on the campus debate boards and proclaim themselves "enlightened" :lol: ) is that it's the student's choice to come to class or not. Passing is possible, but *greatly* more difficult if you do not attend class, and they see the lesson (that going to class makes passing easier) as a good action - consequence rule.

    Sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I disagree, but I do feel that many of the course I take can be passed without going to class, where the lecturer just reads from the textbook and makes you do excercises (sp?) from there...
     
  12. MCheezie

    MCheezie Level IV

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    Well, it does depend on the class/professor but in general going to class IS a good idea. Here, if you miss a quiz/test you get a 0 and you are almost 80% to fail for that period. Each professor allows you to miss a diff amount of days. Some say no days and some will give you up to 3.
     
  13. lucasgrabeelrocks

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    hehe, thank you very much for the guide, since im going to college in two years, i'll need this
     
  14. Commy

    Commy Moderator
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    The Universities where I'm from work differently. I'm just wondering how large your classes are, and how they mark the role of attendance? When I first started out in uni in the classes with broad interest, such as biology, we could have up to 200-300 students in a lecture hall. Of course, in the later years the class sizes would die down as a result of specialization and majors, but even then we don't mark attendance to lectures.
    In subjects we have tutorials and practicals, in which allocated questions are answered by a tutor. These sizes are about 20, so sometimes attendance is marked and counts towards your final score.
    I don't think it's a reflection on how good a university is, it's just a different system to the way things are run elsewhere.
     
  15. Ak*

    Ak* Level IV

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    well you have to take into account that the guide is meant for student athletes because really we are just here to have fun and make something of ourselves in the respected sport we are currently playing. its not a good i idea to follow these steps if you are in a heavy weighted classes like mathematics or any sciences.

    NOte: this is only used to get a passing grade but not entirely for great marks .. i used this the first two years in college but as my program became more weighted i stopped using these... i was using this to acheive a BA in criminology and now im currently doing law.. and since law is very important and all the classes i take now are very important i do go to all the classes. this guide simply offers an easier way to pass those dreaded and mostly useless intro courses and prerequisites of later harder courses.
     
  16. Lucility

    Lucility Level I

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    Ahh, going to university very sooon. xD
    Most UK unis aren't tight on attendance at all, as long as you don't fail the exams in the end.
     
  17. Snowmanny

    Snowmanny Level III

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    lol? i dont think u can get away with that at any university lol
     
  18. kingboo1234

    kingboo1234 Newbie

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    lol i dont think you can do that too often
     
  19. Ak*

    Ak* Level IV

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    oh man i thought this was locked but yeah i actually did this seeing as i wrote the guide and it works, to a certain extent...
     
  20. twxlegend

    twxlegend Level III

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    Hehe yup better to rely on hard work, though some exceptions there:)