Yeah, how do you people feel about transsexualism? I'm actually asking this, because I have a friend that told me she was a transsexual. It didn't come as a shock to me, because I've seen her with other girls and she has become more and more "boyish" over the past years. We used to be extremely close, she was my bff for 4 years or so when we were younger (probably around 11-15/16) but then we drifted apart. She developed into this emoish girl, she began cutting and she isolated herself from everybody. I could do nothing but just stand there and watch her become suicidal (yes, really) She actually told me she once tried to commit suicide, but at that time we weren't really talking - I kinda feel like she didn't have anybody to talk to, and she know me, so I was the person she could .. eh.. lay her problems on. The reason we began drifting apart was when she started to ditch me over some other girl, who has major issues, she is a junkie now and stuff. And I just really didn't wanna go there, so I cut the connection to them and let them be them. I knew that my friend has a brother who also was a junkie, and their family has been going through so many issues. It was just too much for me too handle at the time, I was just a little girl trying to find herself too - I know it's no excuse, but she always treated me like trash even though all I ever did was trying to help her and try to get her out of trouble. Didn't suceed. Then she became an exchange student in USA, and I think it was good for her, getting away a bit. She came home and we hadn't really talked. So now, she's at my school, one class below mine, and she's really this anti-social person, but I think she sees me as her "rescue". Yes, I do talk to her and I try listening to her problems as much as I can, but really.. We have no relationship whatsoever anymore. I even stayed with her through an entire festival, did everything she wanted - and trust me, all she wanted was to stay in camp, doing nothing o.o OKAY! So here's the main "issue" I was in a club saturday night, where she was too with her friend. Then I get this weird text, where she tells me she's a trenssexual. I was so hammered myself, and I had no idea what to say, so I just ignored it (I felt really weird about it, because she could see me from where she sent the text) So I answered her the next day, and we talked a bit about it. It seems like she really really wants to tell me about it, so I let her. And she told me that she feels like a boy, she's most to boys too, but also girls. And then she also told me that she has some sort of appointment where they will see if she can get hormon treatment.. And I don't feel so close to her, but I feel like I have to support her in this, so I am. But seriously. Do you guys know anybody who had the same issues? Or how should I handle this? All I can do is listen to her, but wow. I havn't talked to her in like forever, and I don't wanna sound selfish, but I really don't see how this is my problem. She doesn't have any other friends really.. Ugh, I don't know where I am going with this, but I just want to know if anybody has been/is in the same situation? I am quite open to stuff like this, so it doesn't make me think any less of her or anything. But it's really just something that's strange to me...
Personally and without any kind of offense or no flaming intention but I think they should get psychological treatment and talked out of it but I never been in your situation and never met one before. If I couldn't talk him/her out of it, then I would surely support her/him. :maha: *to MODs: it's OK if you wanna delete this!!! I won't oppose (even if I had the means)*
About the subject in general: I can't wrap my head around people who believe that they would be better off living life as the opposite sex. The whole thing is beyond my understanding, but at the same time, I truely believe that people who are homosexual don't just decide to be that way one day. I think that it's something in their genetic makeup that has their attractions/hormones miswired. I'm not one to judge. I live by the saying "to each his own". If going through the radical process of becoming transgender is the only thing that will make them feel complete, go for it, and more power to them. I've read a few things about transgenders and most of them feel as if they are a boy trapped in a girl's body, or vice versa, and they feel like they aren't able to fully live. Know what I mean? I hope I didn't just completely ramble XD As for your friend: If you are the only person she thinks that she can come to for support, I would say be there for her. Even if you don't really feel as if you're that close, or the right person for her to confide in. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then why don't you try bringing your feelings to her attention? That way you'll have your thoughts out there and she'll either back away and let you be, or she might try to be a better friend.
Bwahah, loco - nah, I get what you're saying, I'm just more convinced enviroment creates homosexuals/transsexuals etc. and not genes.. But whatever! XD Yah, I think I'll just be there for her, I just feel like I wouldn't wanna be there her entire life if you know what I mean? I know it sounds selfish, but really. And she said her parents isn't really supporting her and just laughing about it. And I know her parents, extremely unsopportive, so I guess she needs someone D:
lol We'll agree to disagree on that one then Freja! It sounds like she really needs someone then. I can understand not wanting to be relied on her whole life, but I think as long as she has someone to be there for this scary moment (because this is a HUGE decision to go through the process of changing genders), she'll probably become more independent and confident after it's over. Or at least once the initial start is over lol. It's not your obligation though to be there, so if it ever ends up being too much or stresses you out too much, bail.
Fasty, why should they be talked out of it? It's part of who she is. I'm sure she's thought a lot about this. You can't just jump out of bed and decide something like that, it's not the same as deciding what you want for breakfast. And coco, and in terms of living a better life as the opposite sex, the process of undertaking the transition from girl to boy I'd imagine is to feel better about themselves. Living as a girl when you're really a boy would feel like a lie. A part of the process is to find people who are accepting of it, and I'd imagine there would be GLBT support groups around somewhere. Freja, I think what she wants isn't necessarily understanding, but acceptance. You don't have to commit to being there 24/7 on call, just say that you accept her for what she is and leave the ball in her side of the court. Perhaps a discussion with her what your feelings are to it.
You obviously want to support her, but I understand your hesitation since I wouldn't really be comfortable if I was in your situation either...in my opinion, many lesbians have this same mindset and want to become men, dressing like them and acting like them as closely as they can. I don't really consider her a transsexual until she's had surgery or those hormones yet, but just a lesbian. So think of it as just helping a gay friend, I guess. She should have probably had a psychiatrist help her out throughout life but it may be too late for that since she's obviously had an extensive amount of trauma in her life. Support groups would definitely help her, since she's looking for that confidence to be who she feels she truly is. Your friend will be happy, like FastBullet said, if you just treat her completely normal as if nothing is different which is your best option
I agree, she should have someone to talk to - I mean, it IS a big decision, and yeah - maybe she IS gay, but just can't accept that and want to be a boy, but since she hasn't really talked to anybody about it (who is an expert on the field) she wouldn't know. And I kinda feel she is only talking to me because I am the only one, because when I try to inquire, like ask what it contains and stuff, she answers very briefly, like; I would get a deeper voice. Maybe beard. And it's not like she tells me how I feel, just the facts. And I try to get her to, but I mean, if she doesn't want to, I can't force her. And she also said that she wasn't gonna do it until she graduated, because of what people might think of her. I said that's probably wise, people in colleges normally aren't that acceptable, and since she's already not talking to anybody, it would make it worse. I also said it might be a good time to think about things and she agreed. But I still feel like I don't get her innermost feelings out of her , not even close D: but I try talking to her like i normally would, the worst thing I could do was keep distance.. But good advice, thank you people <3
I think that it's their body and they should do whatever they want with it, but aslong as they are sure they can handle the abuse they will most likely get from people in the world.
I honestly cannot even relate or fathom to the concept, but i believe in free will, so i don't exactly oppose it. People definitely deserve a right to know when people are transexuals though.