i do not agree with you totally there. You can hide such a secret from the child for a short period of time but...definitely not for the long term. In fact the longer you keep such a secret, the harder it would be for the child to accept the truth in future. And there would be more damaged cost. I feel that when the child is partially mature, say 13, such truths should already be reveled.
if you tell them at 13, they are gonna rebel. if you're gonna tell them at all [which I don't see a need to do], I think you should tell them when they're younger. They might not understand, but they won't feel like you've kept a secret from them for their entire lives
Yes, because all adopted kids look exactly like their parents. And when the kid asks "Mommy how come I don't look like you or daddy?" at age 6 ...you should say because ' Ohh honey it's because you're adopted!' ?
Are you saying that mentally challenged people shouldn't be allowed to have kids? This isn't 1942 in Germany you know.. :|
Adoption is a whole other topic, but my opinion is that it should never be kept a secret at all. If you reveal it to the child at any any, whether it's thirteen or thirty, it's still a secret you've hidden from them. They should grow up knowing they were chosen and adopted into a loving home.
Oh, sorry about that. I misinterpreted your post. But still, people sometimes choose to have a baby even though they are aware that it might not live for long. If I'm trying to get kids in the future, and my girlfriend/wife becomes pregnanat and we are told that our child will be born with difficulties or a disease that might interfer with it's length of living, I would hesitate before chosing abortion. I would probably rather have the baby and love it and treat it just as if it was a healthy baby. To me those kind of circumstances wouldn't matter, what would matter is if the baby was intended and/or wished for, or if I wasn't ready to have a kid. Of course the mother would have the final word, but this is how I would have felt.
most diseases are recessive traits when it comes to genes and such. So, unless both parents have the same disease, the chances of the child being born with it is slim so none. Also, I'm sure most parent wouldn't care if their child had a disease or not. Almost every disease a child can be born with, the child can still live a full life. They might not be able to do everything, but they will be able to live none the less.
Someone described an unborn baby as a 'tumor' which is horrible, and not true. Also others have said that a baby is not conscious, again this is not true. In the latter stages of pregnancy a baby sleeps and wakes, responds to sound and moves around. I think I remember reading that from the 20th week a fetus can feel pain (or was it the 24th?...) After 30 weeks gestation a baby has over 90% chance of survival, and babies have been known to survive as young as 24 weeks (I even heard of 21 weeks!) I am pro-choice, so I think each person should be able to make their own decision, but I hope it's not one that people take lightly. When I hear people have been silly, not used protection, not gotten the morning after pill, and then had an abortion, that makes me sad because it is just irresponsible. But sometimes there are circumstances in which it is unavoidable. It is a matter of choice, but even if I had gotten pregnant when I was raped I could never have killed the baby. There is always adoption. But luckily I didn't. I think that abortion should only be legal up to 12 weeks though. That gives long enough for someone to find out they are pregnant, discuss it with the doctors and others, and make a decision on what they want to do. I don't know what the laws are in the States. But here in the UK it's the law that you have to tell children from when you adopt them that they are adopted. If it is something that they grow up with then they will just accept it. It should be like that everywhere, kids shouldn't be lied to.
Yeah I think its killing a baby. If it isnt then why when you kill a pregnant woman its considered double homicide.
Check your facts and reread the posts. Fetuses are not conscious and do not have thoughts til, as you yourself stated, the latter stages of pregnancy. Again, since abortions are not allowed after the 24th week of pregnancy, it's not an issue. And it's after the 24th week when fetuses start to develops "senses," as in pain, distress, happiness, etc. I do agree that 24 weeks is too long, but I understand why that law is in place. It's the absolute limit of a humane period for abortion, and it allows fro circumstances. For example, a couple decides to have a baby but then, for some reason, changes their mind (maybe the father died or something), abortion should be an option for as long as possible. 12 weeks is even a little too soon, less than 3 months. I think 15-20 weeks is a good limit.
I'm from Africa... I look nothing like either of parents. am I adopted? do all children look like their parents? and is a 6 y/o really gonna notice things like that. and yes, if they ask, you should tell them...
how can you not see a need to tell the children? As i have said earlier they will ultimately find out no matter what you do. And when they find out without you telling them, you will really get it hard. 6 is too young an age for you to tell them as they are too immature to understand anything.
we're not gonna agree on this, because we have different values. I never said you shouldn't tell them, you just can't say that they WILL find out. how would they find out if you didn't tell them? but I think they child should grow up knowing they were adopted, even if they don't understand in the beginning, instead of it becoming a big thing later on
I think it's justified, in most cases . But at the same time , you cant argue your are denying SOMEONE a chance to live out their life . And if you had a choice , you wouldnt give up your life for anything..nor would anyone else , no matter how hard their life . I guess if it comes down to choosing between a bad life or no life for your kid, opting for "no life" is better.
what? dying is better than having a good life? how could you say that? that does not make sense. i have mis understood you pls clarify.
Obviously a lot of six years notice these things. Haha. well...yeah, when you actually experience having to tell a six year old that you aren't his/her parent... of course...let me know how that goes