Female Abuse: Growing Problem

"Its in our DNA?" Did you just tried to talk this thing right for us men by blaming our DNA?..
Seriously man say whatever you want, but at least speak for yourself because that is just a wrong argument, in every way you look at it. Thx.

In my opinion, the female abuse described in this topic truly is a sad thing. The fact that they sometimes hang around with the "wrong people", is no excuse for these "wrong people" to resort to violence at their convenience. However, there are a lot of people in this world who dont have to ability to think like this, or deliberately dont want to think like is. In my opinion, I think its key to see through these "bad people" asap, and if you cant or a too blinded to do so, truly hope you have a close friend who can and will tell you the truth about it so you can prevent bad things from happening.

 

Well, it isnt about good or bad, im sorry now I brought it up. Educated or uneducated, bad or good, man or woman, its your actions that define you, and people should be judged accordingly. I think i'll leave my take on the subject at that .

 

I actually married an abused woman... She was abused when she was about 5 or 6 years old. Playing in her back yard with a "freind." Her parents knew who she was playing with and the person seemed fine, but obviously was not. Later, she was abused by another "friend" same type of scenario and she WANTED to tell her parents when it happened but thought she would get in trouble because SHE did something wrong.

It wasn't until we were married and after she finally confided in me that she was able to talk to anyone else. I think it's unfair to say it's the victim's fault because of who they hang out with. Yes, in a lot of cases this can be true, but not in all cases, there are always wolves in sheep's clothing.

It is a sad problem this world has.

 

Agreed, it's an awful thing. My BFF was involved in an abusive relationship, and I saw how awful it was for her.
Personally, I vote for pepper spray to fend off the everyday weirdo. IDK what I'd do in an abusive relationship...

 

I think the problem is that women are becoming more and more independant not to say there wasn't female abuse 200 years ago.

But nowadays most women dont need men to support themselves so men kind of feel threatened they dont have power
like they used to over women

Most men who hit women, do it because its a way for them to establish dominence and power over them.

considering divorces nowadays are through the ROOF, and there is far more women in the army and in the corporate world.

 

I also feel it is a growing problem, I (as a girl) punched a guy in the face at a club the other week because he openly slapped his girlfriend in public. I am not a violent person and would never usually do such a thing, not to mention it was a stupid move as he's obviously not going to hesitate in hitting me back. But it just makes me so enraged to see men beating up on women. He was taken by the police, and hopefull killed :K

 

I don't see it a growing problem persay... its still bad, but like its always been there, and its always gonna be there

 

I agree Female abuse is a growing problem absoloutly. And horribly enough it always has been. Theres been many different opnions in this thread and i think (almost) all make some good (interesting) points.

Ive always had a very close realtionship with my father or "daddy" as i call him. I was always daddy's little girl... My parents seperated when i was 2, i lived my whole life with my mother. I eventually moved in with my dad when i was 16 due to my mothers drug habits ( ). Although I was daddys little girl, daddy still had a temper. He always did but never did it get out of control... Not intil he was in an accident and put on addictive medications. More and more depressed ment more and more anger. So, unfortently 3 times hes hit me. Once- because i was pregnant at 19, (yes, WHILE).
Twice- Because he threw my dog across the room (Who is my baby and im very protective) and Third- In april, after my best friend(my grandma) died. He wanted the money. The cars. The Cash. Anything worth something. I told him i was going to fight the will. He through me down a flight of stairs.

Now, this is where i agree with Zero. Yes, i can say that i did bring it upon myself. I know i was pushing buttons and throughing words as nasty as he was. Provoucking him.

But no, I cant say in ANY situation should a father hit his daughter or ANY women at that mater (I recalled he also through a coffee cup at his girlfriends (now NEW daughters mother) face) I dont care if your trying to show me your "the boss" or trying to tell me this is your house and im going to live by his rules. Again, for no reaosn should I or anyone be abused.

I should of learned or pressed charges the first time. Or, hell even the second. I still didnt on the third.( I think its a little different then a boyfriend realtionship and varies on the persons involved.) He was family, my immediate family. My daddy. Having no one else to turn to it was the only home i had. Plus 350 days of the year he was an easy going, happy guy who I loved and got along with.

Now, we dont speak and its ashame I lost my grandmother who was my mother pretty much, My father, a new born halfsister who ive only met once and another step sister. I had to leave there was no way i was staying. It hurts not to have him in my life but women need to be strong and get out of the situation. Family or not.

Sorry for the life story book, but its a horrible truth and its happening all the time. Weather it be family, friends, teachers strangers, physically or emtionally. Its absoloutly discousting and just want to spread my word. Show, women to be strong, and get out of a horrible situation if your in one. Theres always someone willing to help.

EDIT: Not just women, but anyone whos in an abusive realtionship at that.

 

This is a delicate topic indeed. I should like very much to say that there's never a valid reason to hit a woman, but that statement expects a perfect world in which there's never a valid reason to hit anyone. A short while ago, someone I know had gotten into an argument with his girlfriend. His girlfriend hit him several times about the head, and didn't stop. In an effort to calm her down, he put his hands on her shoulders, and held her on the couch and told her he wouldn't let her go 'till she calmed down. Eventually she did, but as soon as he let her up, she began hitting and kicking him again. After bearing it for a short while, he eventually slugged her back - in the shoulder. She went to the police, and my friend - sporting a black eye, busted lip and several bruises at the hands of his girlfriend - was arrested for domestic abuse.

Formal charges were never actually brought against him and he was allowed to leave after a good eighteen hours in the cells, but the level of hypocrisy in these situations is astounding. I don't doubt for a moment that no similar action would have taken place had he chosen to go to the police.

I think that if the sexes are to be truly equal there should be no gender specific laws, just those forbidding discrimination. Gender specific laws themselves often contrast starkly with anti-discrimination laws anyway. The charges for hitting, attacking, or abusing another person should be the same regardless of the gender of the attacker or the attacked.

Frankly, I think if a woman is prepared to hit a man, she'd better be prepared to fight like one.

 

Domestic Violence: because sometimes, you have to tell her more than once.
:lol:

But seriously... violence against females is a horrible thing. I have this neighbour, he has a wife and three small boys. He always yells and swears at them. I was at the park playing soccer with some friends one time and I saw him drive up with his wife and one of his sons. The little boy played at the park for five minutes, and while that happened I could hear the man and his wife arguing in the car. All of a sudden, the man screamed for the boy to come to the car. After like two minutes, the boy and the mother ran out of the car and sat on the curb. The guy was so mad he PUNCHED his car door window and it smashed. Then they like 10 minutes later they all drove off. It was the most horrible thing I have ever seen.

 

I personally had a minor experience with stuff like this, but I had no idea what the guy's motive was. It was pretty much almost 4 winters ago, I aws at my boyfriend's house till 9 at night {Honestly most of the time you don't know it's bad until shit happens} and shit happened. I was busing home, got off at the stop 2 blocks away from my house, and this one guy also got off with me, realizing he went opposite directions, I listened to my ipod and started to walk home, and I was so happy I was actually singing.

Then when I was near this alley by my house {It's not even an alley it was like a 30 second passage to my house ,well lit, LOTS of houses around} and the guy was behind me, and he put his hands over my mouth from behind, and I remember clearly he wore leather gloves. Then I didn't know what was happened, until he let go and tried to kind of push me? But I didn't fall to the ground so he just stood there and I ran home. I didn't know what happened, and it's been a very long time ago that I don't recall the exact situation, but the guy didn't look like a creep, he was just some white guy with nerdy glasses that had a scarf and stuff over his face with a hat, and a messenger bag.

After that night, I can't say I wasn't completely damaged by it, I was not emotionally damaged, but I wasn't very fond of the dark from then on. Like, in the dark little things will spook me, and I get paranoid. I leave my music on at night, and for whatever reason if it stops playing, I actually get woken by it and then my heart will jsut start to beat like something is wrong.

I dunno..what my point is, it really saddens me that females get attacked all the time, because guys think girls are weak and vulnerable. The news in our city..is just horrid...and every time I read the news, I can't help but to get upset at the stuff that happens to girls in society these days. I really hate it, and it actually makes me not proud to be alive, because people just get corrupted, and sometimes even FEMALES go around abusing females which makes no sense...at all..sure it's not an average girl thing to be buff, to learn how to protect themselves and even though there are self defense classes there ARE people who thinks it's foolish because shit will never happen to them and to be honest, crimes happen day AND night, and I think as girls for the most part, especially because we tend to be the victims, we need to learn how to defend ourselves and if something does happen it is partially our fault as well.

I just..I don't tend to female abuse lightly, and a little part of me dies everytime the news says that this girl was kidnapped, this girl was tortured brutally, this girl was raped, this girl was this and that...even 30 some year old women get attacked here..not often but it DOES happens.

And in Hong Kong I remember some drunk guy walking into an old folk's home or whatever and raping a 94 year old woman who was near death/can't move at all..it's just..it's not how WE feel about it when unfortunate things like this happen to someone, it's what the VICTIM feel AFTER the attack. People who can look past it might be able to keep living life on an average basis but emotionally deep down there is something that would change forever, and people who can't handle the shock end up crazy, end up not being able to trust people, and even worst, for some people, their lives are pretty much over because they simply can't find the will to look pass it.

 

This issue is interconnected with so many others springing from the root of loose-to-non-existent morals/values.... i.e. you can "teach kids to be safe on Myspace", but Myspace didn't create the kids who gladly sl*t themselves out online or the parents who failed their children miserably or the predators who lust for them. A screwed-up society created them. For starters, every song, music video, and porno that portrays women as disposable objects, every joke that is cracked at some unknown victim's expense, and everyone who perpetuates or allows others to perpetuate these things makes it worse. You have to fix the mindset of the society that creates these modern-day individuals to accomplish anything at all. Curing an effect and not the cause is useless, as years and years of ever-more-informative sex education programs has proven. But that's all we do - because no one knows how to cure the cause, not even those who see it for what it is, myself included - but the government still needs to look like they're accomplishing or trying to accomplish something.

 

This phenomenon can take a serious thread for social reformers, political activists, human right members & state in third world countries. International organizations & world forums have serious reservations & concerns on it but the fact is that it could not be eliminate till we change the whole social framework & community structure.So we must ponder on this issue from its core.