A true spanking should, #1) not hurt the child. It is to teach the child a lesson. A smack on the tush (Haha. I like that word, Micro) is not something that should be violent. #2) Should not be used in excess. The reason I believe many people think of spanking as wrong is because some people are indeed idiots and take it much farther than necessary. Watching my father's friends raise their children (I'm currently living with them), the few times they did discipline their children this way, they would raise the child's hands over their head and give a firm, but not hard smack on the butt. Then they would kneel down, to get on their level, still holding the child's hands (no longer over their heads) and say "I'm sorry I did that, but I did that to teach you a lesson. I need you to understand what you did wrong and why." When the little boy, Andrei kicked the cat down the stairs after it bit him, his mother actually bent him over her knee and gave him a few smacks to the tush and then told him, "Its not nice to be a bully. Did you see how I bullied you? It makes you feel small and sad, doesn't it? I think you need to go apologize to the kitty." (Excuse the awkwardness...They are Kazakh, and they only speak Kazakh to their children...I'm not very good at the language myself.) Yes. Talking to a child is nice and good, and there are some things like ADHD that can't be cured with spanking, but there are times that I feel it is necessary to enforce a point. Do you think that just talking to Andrei would have enforced the point as well? Even grounding him? Had she sent him to his room, he would've watched TV or played video games. Grounding children isn't as effective as it was even 20 years ago, neither is sending a child to their room. (Anyway, Nurzhan and Katya have five children. Keeping an eye on one in particular is hard, especially because if one gets in trouble, at least two of the others are involved...) The point is intent and putting the right punishment with the right crime. If a parent is cruel about the spanking, yes, it is abuse. If they are not, and are making sure it won't hurt, then no.
There are many other way's of punish children in order to teach them lessons. I will use the time out technique, where you send your kid to a special part of the home and everytime it goes away from there (without apologizing), you just carry it back. Over and over again. I will also remove their toys, video games, tv time etc. if they behave badly. But, it's also important to reward good behavior. Ever seen that show about the British Nanny going around to people's homes and helping them take care of their children? Have a chart or something, with your kids names on it, and put on "cake pieces" when they do something good, and take away a piece when they do something bad, and when they've reached a whole "cake", they get a reward. You can't expect your kids just to do good things for no reason, they're not able to understand how that works yet.
Arghhh, this is my 3rd time trying to respond to this and I keep getting a missing page error...hope it goes through. Long paragraph short though since I'm tired of retyping.. -Well, what happens when your kid has lost all of his/her privileges?..then what? Sometimes kids don't care...trust me, some kids don't..then what...time out? How will that be effective at say...age 15 when your kid does something that you don't like...and by the way behaving is not considered 'doing a good thing for no reason' is something you do be it's right..and because misbehaving has consequences..no child is born knowing that, you're right..but it is your responsibility as a parent to teach him/her that.
spanking is inhumane and cruel but effective grounding is humane, but still cruel and a little less effective
Electrical dog collars are inhumane...spanking is most definitely not on that level. I do not think you can classify spanking as inhumane.. There is obviously a disconnect between the definition of 'spanking' with us hmm?
Hmm I do not believe in using violence as a means to an end, because the means is not moral even though the end is. Reasoning should be used instead. People who resort to violence to solve problems only shows about how impatient and ill-judgement they have. Do not gravedig. - L_scorpio
a spank to let a kid know that something is wrong is ok, but beating a kid for a little thing is wrong
Spanking as a minor form of punishment, I suppose, is alright. Kids do take a lot more to learn these days:/
I do agree we should spank our wives more often. It keeps things interesting. Everyone says people dispise change, but things can get monotomous without change. TO SPANK
my psych professor told me that children learn from their parents, so when a parent spanks their child, the child learns that it is ok to hit people, and they learn to hit people
LOL..... LOVE the name of this topic.... so unintentionally funny :lol: :lol: I spank for sure, among several other things that I definitely can't mention here :tehe:
depends on the situation. if shes moaning alot and it in to it, i totally spank. just kidding i think you meant kids, if they try to run into the street give him the business. but like as a punishment? no, just to teach him proper safety, like don't run in the street, because well thats unsafe, it really all depends THANKS JOHN (MADDEN)!
Seriously (unlike my last post), if the question is does [wisely administered] spanking of children produce positive results, I'd say yes. Does outlawing spanking result in brattier kids who will become brattier adults someday? Well.... look around you. If the question is "Does one human being have the God-given right to physically punish another for misbehaving?", I'd say while you're sitting around wondering if you have the right to spank your kid, there are 10,000 people out there who think you shouldn't spank, for whatever reason, and they don't care whether or not they have the "God-Given" right to impose their will on you - they're just gonna do it. They'll lobby, complain, picket, vote, do whatever they can to see that they get their way. Think about that. But if it's legal, you know that people will take it to the extreme... and as far as that goes, I don't know how in the hell you'd define what constitutes proper legal spanking and what was outside the bounds so you could keep abusers in check. Can you spank your kid if he loses his homework? What if he didn't put his dinner plate in the sink? How many times can you hit him? Where and how hard can you hit?
I don't think this is the best thing to do. Ya little kids sometimes are really anoying, but it's just... innacceptable to beat a child. If you saw the movie "Aurore", a Quebec movie, it's just... terrible. In Quebec, you can go in prison because you're hurting you children. Also spanking kids don't discipline them, they'll just live in fear. They'll be scare of their parents, but when their parents won't be there, they'll became anoying again. If a parent discipline them without spanking, they won't be scare of this parent. And there will be more chances that they will act correctly withouth their parents. Sure, it's harder to discipline withouth spanking, but when you spank, you don't discipline, you make you children live in fear, you beat them. Children are family. You must love them. And it's with love that you find the patience to discipline them correctly. If you need to use spanking, it's because of you. It's because you didn't correctly discipline your child when he or her was young.
I strongly support spanking. My parents spanked me with a bamboo stick when i was young and it sure as hell made me a better person. Even though they hurt, it made me realize my mistake and i never did it again. Compare that to my cousin who is raised with no spanking at all. He goes around and smacks his older cousins (mainly me) and his adult aunts and uncles in the face. He has no respect at all for his family, he causes a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants, I just want to give him a good ole spanking but his parents have no time for him and spoil him whenever. -.-
Ya but it's not because no one was spanking him. It's because his parents didn't discipline him well. If parents are great, they can easily discipline their kids without spanking and make him a great kid. But I'm not saying that parents that use spanking are not good parents =P For my exemple, my parents never spank me, and I think I'm a good kid lol. But also, they didn't have choice, like I said, in Quebec, if a parent is beating is child, he can go in prison.
Spanking makes a kid a better child. I actually can't think of any other way to get the point across as clearly as spanking a child. You can yell at them as much as you want and not do anything, then they will get away with it. You can ground the child and he'll probably disobey it cause grounding is a light punishment, if the child is a sutbborn one then he/she will find ways around it. If you're a listening child to begin with (probably such as yourself) then you will do as you are told. However if you are anything like my cousin, then yelling at him wont get you jack shit and he will continue to behave disruptively. If you really want stubborn kids to behave, just whip out the bamboo stick and spank. Then once he starts up again, then just whip it out threatening and he'll stop. I know I did when my parents threaten me with it. Though I may act immature (on these forums mainly) in reality, I'm a responsible kid (actually adult.. I'm 19) and I know spanking has made me a better person. I never thought of it till now but my parents though seemed cruel, they did it for the better and though they spank you they do it because they love you and want you to become a good person. The grounding stuff never worked on me because though they grounded me I found aways around it, and still enjoyed myself while being grounded (don't ask how my little secret). Spankings were the true way to get to me and now I'm a better person. This is coming from a kid who used to be a nightmare. > PS: It really all depends on the child, I could take the pain, pain was usually a way of punishment (kneeling on my knees for 2 hours..Im a beast) and I accepted that. I was never scared of my parents or anything because though they inflicted pain on myself, they told had I learned my lesson and not to do it again. Then if I was good then they would reward me and showed affection. So its not when a parent spanks a child the child has to fear the parent all the time as long as the parent discusses why he/she spanked him and explain what the child did was wrong and its consequences. Some people can't take pain, then they're usually the ones against spankings... Pain makes you into a stronger person IMO you learn to widthstand it build upon it. So when something in life (asides from your parents) gives you a blow to the face, you wont become a wreck and you can stay strong and move forward...